From the Mommy Files…

Archive for the ‘stressed mom’ Category

Hey there! How’s it going?

Yesterday was the last day of school. Like you, I’ve been mired in all the end-of-the-year events, shopping for teacher gifts, etc. Plus, I’ve been working on an exciting new project, which I will share with you soon. I didn’t want you to think I had succumbed to a new malady, so I thought I’d better check in! 😉

Boo and Bebs enjoying the beach on California's Central Coast.

Boo and Bebs enjoying the beach on California’s Central Coast.

 

Like you, I like to read blogs. (Thanks for reading this one!) Some posts really resonate with me, and I share them on Facebook or Twitter. I thought it would be fun to share them here with you.

Here are my 3 favorite posts from this past week.

1. Saying These 8 Things To Your Kid Every Day Could Change Their Life

I came across this on Facebook, from The Breast Cancer Site. It really hit home. Recently, I have experienced a mindshift in my parenting. I’d been reciting mantras, reading affirmations, trying to motivate, inspire, uplift myself — and boost my confidence. I realized my kids needed this too. These are some great tips to help your kids feel good about themselves, gain confidence, security, and courage.

2. To Build (or Break) a Child’s Spirit

This one comes from Huffington Post Love Matters, by Rachel Macy Stafford. This post reminds us that what we say and how we say it can have a profound impact on our kids. We do get frustrated. Absolutely. No one likes to be yelled at — not even us. We aren’t bad people. Sometimes we make bad choices, and make mistakes, but that doesn’t make us bad people. We have to find ways to turn these incidents into lessons of what not to do, and how to do better. Even something as simple as spilling milk — I know, even when it’s the 100th time — can get our goat. I’ve realized that we need to be positive and use these as teaching moments. We can make they feel awful, or we can teach them that mistakes happen, and remind them they are loved, and they can do better. Sometimes easier said than done, but we all need the reminder sometimes.

Now something just for fun! 😉

3. Bohemian Momsody

This one’s from Scary Mommy. If you don’t subscribe to Scary Mommy, go now and do it! There’s some great stuff there, and some chuckles too. I’m sure we have all felt like this at one time or another. Enjoy!

What are some of your favorite posts this week? What are some of the other blogs that you follow?

Yes, you, Mom. I’m talking to you.

You need to make investments in you each and every day. You’re worth it, and you deserve it.

Now, I’m not talking about shopping sprees (you’re welcome, husbands). And I’m not talking about financial stuff. I’ll leave that to the Dave Ramseys of the world. I’m talking about doing things for YOURSELF. Every. Single. Day.

Like all moms, I always put myself last. And I felt awful—physically, emotionally. I wasn’t at my best. This is a tough concept for us moms to comprehend. My holistic health coach Roula at MyHealthySoma showed me how I could make space for it in my life, and why it was so important to my well-being, and that of my family

Right about now, you’re thinking, “There isn’t enough time,” or “It sounds so selfish.” You do have some time each day. And it’s not being selfish. On the contrary, this not only helps you but also helps your family. All these small investments add up to THE BEST YOU EVER. And you know what that means? It makes you a better wife, a better parent, a better daughter, a better friend, etc. Isn’t that worth it?

taking time for yourself (2)

Here are some ways you can invest in yourself every day:

    • Get physical. Feeling sluggish? Can’t get through the day without a double espresso? Your body and mind need exercise to be at their peak. Think you can’t fit it in? Here’s how: Get up a little earlier, go walking or biking. Kill two birds with one stone, and ride your bike or walk to run errands. Bonus: You can shop local and support small businesses. After the kids head off to school, hit the gym. Get it out of the way in the morning so there are no excuses. Take a walk in the evenings after dinner. The whole family can do this together, too. A little every day makes you stronger. The benefits are far-reaching. We’re talking about your health. Exercise goes a long way in stress reduction, too. You’ll get fit, your mind will be clear, and your energy level will soar. Double bonus: You will feel better about you.
  • Rethink food. I don’t use the word diet, because the word has been corrupted to mean a deprivation in order to lose weight. We’re talking lifestyle here. Eat healthier, work in organics, and take the time to think about what you’re cooking and eating. Eat more fruits and veggies, add some probiotics, drink more water, skip the sugar and soda. Cook healthier meals. Small changes every day. You and your family will reap the benefits. Bonus: You’ll probably shed a few pounds too. And that always makes us feel good!
  • Read. Reading provides an escape from reality, taking you on a journey in your mind. Read books on productivity, something you wish to learn. I like to read while I’m walking on the treadmill, and also before bedtime. No electronics at bedtime! Your mind won’t be able to shut down. So get out that printed book or magazine! Even if you read for 10-15 minutes a day, you do this for you, and invest in your personal growth. Bonus: You feed your brain and keep your mind sharp.
  • Have a girls’ night. Yes. That means put on something stylish, some makeup, and get out of the house, away from your family. You need a break. You need adult conversation, and some girl talk. You must maintain your friendships. This rejuvenates you, and sends you home happier, less stressed. Enjoy a cocktail, but don’t go crazy. That’ll become an expense and not an investment. Bonus: You had fun and spent some time nurturing your friendships. We need them.
  • Transform your bedtime ritual. While you’re washing your face and brushing your teeth, turn on some soothing music. It will help to get you begin to relax. Maybe you put lotion on your hands and feet, or use essential oils. This is a great time to do it, and wind down. Read, pray, calm your mind. Make a to-do list for tomorrow and get it out of your head. Bonus: This pays you in sleep dividends. Another bonus: Well-rested moms are happier and more accomplished.
  • Practice gratitude: Do this every day. I start my day thanking God for giving me another day. After I say my prayers at bedtime, I thank God for all my blessings. It may seem tough when you start, but once you get going, you will be surprised how this flows. You realize you have more blessings that you thought. It gives you perspective. Bonus: You realize you really are rich, in the most meaningful way.
  • Start with positive thoughts. After I thank God for allowing me to wake up, I repeat some mantras. I say them for myself and my family. I start with me. It could be something as simple as, “I’m going to have a great day!” or “I’m going to complete my to-do list today!” I check in on my girls as they sleep. I whisper to them, “You’re going to have a great day,” “You’re going to ace the test!” or something like that. Then one for my husband: “You’re going to close that deal today!” or “You’ll make strides toward closing it!” Bonus: You’ve added to everyone’s balance. Another bonus: You set ta positive tone for the day.
  • Be an early bird. Whether you use this time to work out, read, plan your day, reflect, write—whatever – this is your time. Everyone is asleep. No one’s calling or you to do something. This is the perfect time to add to your account. Bonus: So much is accomplished in these uninterrupted moments.
  • Get a hobby. Is there something you enjoy doing? It’s always fun and enriching to do something creative, and having that outlet makes for a better you. This can be done with the family, too. Bonus: You develop or hone a skill, and have fun. You are enriched.
  • Chase a dream. Just because you are a wife and/or a mom, doesn’t mean you have to give up your dreams. Want to be an artist? Writer? Crafter? Want to help people? Do it! You can do this during that uninterrupted time in the morning (or when everyone’s asleep, if you’re a night owl. You know yourself best.) Bonus: A sense of accomplishment, confidence, and enhanced self-worth. Double bonus: You set an example or your kids, about working hard to make dreams come true and achieve goals.
  • That’s just a start. Trade a coffee for a cup of decaf tea. Meet a friend for a coffee or lunch. Occasionally DO get a mani/pedi, or a facial or massage. You will feel like a new person. You are worth it! A zillion times bonus: You look good AND feel good.

Small investments in you each day = happy you AND happy family. Remember, you set the tone for your family. They play off you and your attitude. Model happiness and joy for your family. Your investment in you benefits the ENTIRE family. You owe it to yourself – and your family!

~

How do you invest in you? If you aren’t why not? What can you do today to make your first deposit? Share your thoughts in the comments.

 

Been away for a while dealing with my elderly parents. I’ll update you on their situation another time. So much has happened.

 

Let’s shift back to those small beings living in our home…our kids. 😉

 

Bebs is home sick today.

 

Again.

 

On Monday, I heard about this stomach bug that lasted a day, causing vomiting.

I thought, “Phew. Dodged that one!”

 

Spoke to soon.

 

We were up all  Tuesday night.sick_clipart

Just when you think you’re done changing the bed linens for the night…

You know what I’m talking about!

Bebs stayed home from school on Wednesday.

 

Uggh!  I had things to do!

 

 

I’ve got a very full schedule, and not including pick up/drop off, I have about 5 hours, 5 days a week without kids to accomplish it.

I’m singing your song, yes?

 

You’re worried, feel awful for your sick child, and you tend to him/her.

 

But what about the other stuff?

 

I began complaining about all the things that wouldn’t get done that day.

 

You too?

 

Well, there’s my trip to the gym.

I have health issues, and this helps me keep those in check, not to mention it curbs stress, improves my mood, and gives me a sense of “Yeah! I did this just for me!”

I also use that time to read.

Scratch that from the list.

 

Then there’s the grocery shopping, and errands.

 

Oh yeah, I was planning to write.

 

And there is, well, that part-time job.

The one that helps me to celebrate my Greek heritage and culture every day; keeps me involved in the community; gets me published regularly; has been responsible for great learning; offered me the opportunity to meet some really great people (including a mentor!); and, well, I’ve garnered some fans along the way, and their praise and encouragement feeds my ego, and eases my writer’s doubt. It’s more than a job to me.

 

Then there’s volunteering. These days, we must be involved in our kids’ schools.

We have to know who’s in the schools, what they’re doing, and well, if we want activities for our kids, we have to be there to organize and work them – you know. We must also be the teachers’ partners in our kids’ education.

My girls go to two different schools. And Boo attends Greek school on Saturdays.

That’s three schools/PTAs requesting my time.

And I serve on a school board.

You know those days when you have to call and cancel out on something because your child is sick, and it just happens to be the day that everyone else is canceling for the same reason? Yes. We feel guilty when that happens.

 

I’m doing a lot of things, but they’re all very important to me and I make the time for them.

Except on days when I have a sick child at home.

 

NOW WHAT?

 

Most of the to-do list doesn’t get done, and it makes me stressed, and I’ve lost my sense of accomplishment for the day.

Those little things like checking off parts of your to-do list go a long way.

 

I started to complain, and then I stopped myself.

 

I pulled out the to-do list.  to do list (4)

 

Time to re-work it.

 

What could I accomplish with my child home?

Is there anything on tomorrow’s list that I could do at home, and shift some of the other stuff to tomorrow?

 

As my daughter slept, I took the opportunity to write.

 

I made some phone calls, did some work.

 

CHECK. CHECK. CHECK.

 

Then I switched to some household tasks.

– Planned dinners, made the shopping list.

— Cleaned out a cabinet, then started to file some papers.

Those were much lower on the list, but I’m here, can’t go out, so might as well.

 

I couldn’t get to the store that day, so I had to plan something else for dinner with what we had.

 

No gym.

– Watched what and how much I ate that day.

–  Since I was stuck in the house, I made a few more trips up and down the stairs for good measure.

 

I moved my “outside” tasks to the next day.

 

When Thursday rolled around, I got up a little earlier.

– I took care of my writerly tasks before the family woke up.

– I took the kids to school, got that workout in right away – and did a little extra.

– Work

– Volunteered at Boo’s school

– Attacked those errands that I couldn’t do

 

Then it was time for pick up.

 

I actually thought I had caught up from the sick day, and was ready to attack today.

 

GUESS AGAIN!

 

I got up at 5 (These are Golden Hours. I do whatever I want!). Wrote. Answered emails.

 

Then it was time to get ready for school.

 

Boo went to school.

 

Bebs didn’t feel well. Slight fever, lethargic.

 

Staying home…again.

 

As I began stressing about all the things I’d have to give up today, I stopped.

 

Time to re-work the schedule…again!

 

– Fortunately, I checked several things off the list this am.

– Gym? Nope. Extended workout on Monday.

– Lunch with a friend? Raincheck.

– Grocery shopping? Will have to wait until the evening.

 

That frees up some time.

 

What’s on tomorrow’s list?

 

Oh yes.

Laundry. Cleaning.

Let’s go.

 

I’ll be so happy tomorrow. Then I can just play!

 

As winter approaches, we’re all going to have those days when our kids have to stay home from school, and it throws off our day(s).

Try to remember that it’s OK to re-work your schedule.

 

This is a great reminder to not put things off, because you don’t know what the rest of today – or tomorrow – will bring.

 

It’s a reminder to prioritize.

 

Remember that saying, “Man makes plans and God laughs?”

 

It’s so true.

 

Life is unpredictable.

 

We have enough stress. Don’t add to it.

 

Some ideas:

– Make sure you leave some flexibility in your day.

– Schedule the most important tasks early in the day so you’re sure to accomplish them.

– Don’t put off going to the gym until tomorrow, because who knows what the day will bring, and why feel awful that you let yourself down?

– Make that trip to the grocery store today, while you can.

– Don’t leave all the errands for one day a week. Do these throughout the week, when time presents itself.

 

Check these off the list!

 

Take a moment to remind yourself that you aren’t perfect, you are a mom (or a dad), and life is unpredictable.

 

You know what?

 

You’re a superhero already.

 

Know why?

 

Cause you are MOM. Or DAD.

 

Plain and simple.

 

Give yourself a break.

 

Don’t stress.

 

Now, back to my housecleaning.


Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 51 other followers

BooBoo BeDoux

Bebs LaRoux

frthemommyfiles

Latest Tweets

Content is registered and protected.

MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected