From the Mommy Files…

Archive for the ‘encouragement’ Category

Hey there! How’s it going?

Yesterday was the last day of school. Like you, I’ve been mired in all the end-of-the-year events, shopping for teacher gifts, etc. Plus, I’ve been working on an exciting new project, which I will share with you soon. I didn’t want you to think I had succumbed to a new malady, so I thought I’d better check in! 😉

Boo and Bebs enjoying the beach on California's Central Coast.

Boo and Bebs enjoying the beach on California’s Central Coast.

 

Like you, I like to read blogs. (Thanks for reading this one!) Some posts really resonate with me, and I share them on Facebook or Twitter. I thought it would be fun to share them here with you.

Here are my 3 favorite posts from this past week.

1. Saying These 8 Things To Your Kid Every Day Could Change Their Life

I came across this on Facebook, from The Breast Cancer Site. It really hit home. Recently, I have experienced a mindshift in my parenting. I’d been reciting mantras, reading affirmations, trying to motivate, inspire, uplift myself — and boost my confidence. I realized my kids needed this too. These are some great tips to help your kids feel good about themselves, gain confidence, security, and courage.

2. To Build (or Break) a Child’s Spirit

This one comes from Huffington Post Love Matters, by Rachel Macy Stafford. This post reminds us that what we say and how we say it can have a profound impact on our kids. We do get frustrated. Absolutely. No one likes to be yelled at — not even us. We aren’t bad people. Sometimes we make bad choices, and make mistakes, but that doesn’t make us bad people. We have to find ways to turn these incidents into lessons of what not to do, and how to do better. Even something as simple as spilling milk — I know, even when it’s the 100th time — can get our goat. I’ve realized that we need to be positive and use these as teaching moments. We can make they feel awful, or we can teach them that mistakes happen, and remind them they are loved, and they can do better. Sometimes easier said than done, but we all need the reminder sometimes.

Now something just for fun! 😉

3. Bohemian Momsody

This one’s from Scary Mommy. If you don’t subscribe to Scary Mommy, go now and do it! There’s some great stuff there, and some chuckles too. I’m sure we have all felt like this at one time or another. Enjoy!

What are some of your favorite posts this week? What are some of the other blogs that you follow?
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I’m honored to be part of The Next Big Thing Blog Hop, which not only makes me feel like a true member of the author community, but also motivates me to finish rewrites and get my book published!

Nai’lah Carter tagged me for The Next Big Thing Blog Hop. Her book, You Have What it Takes has come to me at just the right moment, as I have experienced that doubt that we all feel, just as we are getting close to the finish line. The purpose of this promo is to be able to discover new authors you may never heard of, and learn about their work. In this week 21 of the blog tour, you’ll read about my “Next Big Thing.” At the end, I’ve tagged 5 other authors, who will do the same thing next Wednesday.

So, without further ado, here we go!

What is the working title of your book?  Positive About Negative: Adventures in Molar Pregnancy.

Where did the idea come from for the book? In September 2010 I experienced a molar pregnancy. This is a rare type of miscarriage that can become cancer. I endured many complications, and ultimately, 14 weeks of chemotherapy. Each year, about 200,000 molar pregnancies are diagnosed, worldwide; 6500 of those are in the US. There are precious few resources out there for women who have a molar pregnancy. I really felt like I was alone at sea. I don’t want any other woman to feel like that.

What genre does your book fall under? Women’s health.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?  Don’t know that this would ever happen! I never even thought about this before. My husband said maybe Sandra Bullock could play me… I could see Alec Baldwin as one of my doctors… 😉 LOL

This book will be a tremendous resource for women; their partners, family members and friends; and even for doctors, who wouldn’t normally have that intimate a look into a patient’s journey.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? This book is for women who have endured a molar pregnancy – from diagnosis, to treatment, healing and beyond.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?  Not sure yet.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? More than one year. I have two small children, and I was on my own healing journey. There were times when I couldn’t go near it, because the grief would rear its ugly head, or some milestone date was approaching and I was trying to busy myself with other things. I’ve consulted experts as well as women who have also experienced molar pregnancy. Their feedback was extremely positive. I’m currently working on rewrites.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre? I haven’t found any. There is a book that shares stories of several women who have endured molar pregnancy, but there are none like this. My book not only reveals my journey, but also examines what a woman can expect on her own journey, and more. I share research I have compiled, plus, there are topics such as grieving (so important and often overlooked); advocacy; (critical!); advice for partners, family and friends; controversy within the field, etc. Also examined is the rare nature of the disease, and why there is a lack of a protocol for treatment. Currently, there are no institutional or national guidelines for the treatment of molar pregnancy.

Who or What inspired you to write this book?  As I embarked on this roller coaster of a journey, I couldn’t find any resources. I felt very lost. I was fortunate to connect with women around the world via an online support group. We shared research, offered support, cheered on everyone’s progress, listened while we vented or lamented. I floated the idea about writing a book, and my fellow survivors applauded and encouraged me to do it. I learned so much on this journey. You may not be religious, but my faith was a driving force in getting me through this, and also provided inspiration. I believe that God chose me to go on this journey, because I am a writer and I would not be afraid to share my story. I don’t want anyone else to feel as alone as I did.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest? Molar pregnancy is rare. A woman goes from the anticipation of a new life and feeling full of love and hope, to learning that the pregnancy is lost. Not only is a woman grieving her lost child, but she faces a health crisis: she’s received this diagnosis of Gestational Trophoblastic Disease (doesn’t that get stuck in your mouth?), and the knowledge that this could become cancer—who knew that what started as the promise of a new life could lead one to the chemo lab?

Just when does it become cancer? Ask many doctors and you’ll get many answers. How did this happen? Could this have been prevented? Will the disease come back? Will it happen again? Do I really need to grieve? Do I need chemo? Can I have more children? What’s next? These questions and more are all discussed in this important book.

The foreword has been written by a physician who is widely considered as the top specialist for the treatment of molar pregnancy in the US.

Thanks for reading about my forthcoming book…

And now…

As you know, I am always promoting my heritage, so I thought I’d present to you five Greek authors (OK, one isn’t Greek, but his latest book is set on a Greek island!) Check out these wonderful authors and find out what they’re up to!

Kelly Andria

Patty Apostolides

C. Dionysios Dionou

Bryan Mooney

Stephanie Nikolopoulos

I’d be remiss if I didn’t give a shout out to my dear friend and fellow writer, Patricia V. Davis, who I “met” when I interviewed her a few years ago for The Greek Star.  Three hours later (yes, we spoke for that many hours on the phone!) we were friends. That day, she encouraged me to do more with my writing. She gave me the little push I needed to get out there and expand my horizons. She’s a dynamic and inspiring woman. Check out her site, and see all the things that she’s up to!

I had no idea Boo was paying attention to the news.

In the evenings, we’d watch various news programs while the girls were playing, doing homework or other projects.

One day, Boo, now officially 5-3/4 (I have to include the 3/4 or I will be in trouble. LOL) shared her political insights.

Boo: Why is Barack Obama always yelling at everyone?

Mommy: What do you mean?

She’d seen clips of some of his campaign appearances when he’d spoken loudly and passionately.

Boo: He seems like he’s always yelling and pointing. I don’t like that.

Mommy: I think he’s just excited about something he believes in.

Boo: I don’t believe in yelling or any of that stuff. I like Mitt Romney.

Mommy: You do? Why?

Boo: Mitt Romney goes to church and he listens to God. This is very important in our lives. And he doesn’t yell and make fights.

Mommy: I had no idea you were paying attention to the news.

We may be on different sides of the political spectrum, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

Boo:I listen to the news, and I listen to people talking. I don’t like all this fighting.

Mommy: Neither do I.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. We were driving in the car when Boo sprung this one on me.

Boo: How can Mary and I be friends if she likes Barack Obama and I like Mitt Romney?

Wow. I was really taken aback by this. I thought a minute and I knew it was time for us to have the talk.

Not that talk!

The talk about why we choose our friends, and about differences, respect, etc.

Mommy: We don’t choose our friends based on who they want to vote for.

Boo: Why not?

Mommy: We choose our friends based on their character, what kind of person they are. Does Mary treat you nice?

Boo: Yes.

Mommy: Is she a good girl?

Boo: Yes.

Mommy: Do you have fun with her?

Boo: Yes.

Mommy: Does she like a lot of the same things you do?

Boo: Yes.

Mommy: They you should absolutely be friends with Mary.

Boo: But what about politics?

She’s 5! Oh yeah, 5-3/4!

 Mommy: People have different experiences in life, things that happen to them, that make them believe a certain way. Did you ask Mary why she likes Barack Obama?

Boo: No. But I told her that I like Mitt Romney.

Mommy: Did you tell her why you like Mitt Romney? What did she say?

Boo: I didn’t tell her why. She didn’t say anything. I should tell her?

Mommy: It’s OK to talk about why we think differently or why we are different. We have to respect people’s beliefs and feelings. That means we don’t talk mean to people if they think differently. We can ask questions and try to understand why they think the way they do. You might learn something. If everyone were absolutely the same, things would be kind of boring, right?

Boo: I think so. So should I ask Mary why she likes Obama?

Mommy: If it’s important to you, then ask her. But you shouldn’t argue. Everyone gets to have their own opinion, whether you think it’s right or not.

Boo: You said that before.

Mommy: Because it’s true.

Boo: OK. I’ll let you know what she says.

After school, I met Boo at the school door.

Boo: Mom, we have to talk!

Mommy: What’s up?

Boo: I asked Mary why she likes Obama. She said she doesn’t know. How can she like him if she doesn’t know why?

Mommy: She can like whoever she wants. Maybe she doesn’t know how to explain why.

Boo: I told her why I like Mitt Romney.

Mommy: What did she say?

Boo: She said, “That’s nice. He sounds nice.” Then she said she still liked Obama. So how can we be friends?

Mommy: You can be friends if you have fun together and you think she is nice. Maybe you guys can talk about something that you both like, and not about politics. You are alike in many ways. You both are Greek, have January birthdays…

Boo: We both like princesses!

Mommy: Yes!

Boo: So, I can still talk to her if she doesn’t vote like me?

Mommy: Absolutely. Auntie is going to vote differently than you. Does that mean you’ll stop loving her?

Boo: No way!

Mommy: Does it make sense now?

Boo: So it’s OK to love someone who doesn’t think the same as you.

Mommy: You got it!

Boo: I’m 5-3/4 you know. I’m big!

Mommy: Yes. These are important things to remember.

Boo: OK.

The morning after the election, I had to break the news to Boo that her candidate didn’t win.

 Mommy: Honey, I’m sorry but Mitt Romney didn’t win last night.

Boo: I bet many of those people can’t tell me why they voted for Obama!

Mommy: Does it matter? And besides, he is President Obama, we should be respectful.

Boo: I get it. I just don’t know why Mitt Romney didn’t win.

Mommy: More people voted for President Obama, so he won.

Boo: I didn’t get to vote! If I would have voted, Mitt Romney would have won!

Mommy: I’m sorry, Honey. You can’t vote until you’re 18.

Boo: Oh. Not even a 5-3/4 year old girl?

Mommy: No.

Boo: Oh well. I’m not going to talk politics anymore. I just want to have fun. I’m glad I get to keep my friends.

Mommy: Politics isn’t everything, Honey. Just like people pray differently and go to different churches, they like different politicians.

Boo: Mommy, we talked about this already. I’m going to get ready for school. I have so much to learn!

And don’t we all. Seems this election cycle, many of us have forgotten some of these things.

We let politics get in the way of friendships.

Sometimes it takes a 5-3/4 year old to remind us why we chose our friends in the first place.

To remind us to be respectful of others and their opinions.

We don’t have to agree.

But we must respect people’s feelings and their right to their opinions.

You may think differently, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends or I can’t love you.

Things got very bitter this election cycle, but let’s not forget why we are friends—why we CHOSE to be friends.

Boo and Mary are little, but how many people are wondering the same things?

It’s OK that we think differently.

In fact, I think it’s good.

We can learn so much from each other.

You know you’ve got it too.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

The truth is, I don’t know if we always realize we are doing this.

We take on so much.

Often more than we can possibly handle.

And we stress ourselves out.

So why do we do this?

I wonder…

Do we do it because we want to be helpful?

Because we don’t realize the time commitment?

Because we can’t say no?

Because we think we can juggle everything?

Because we are afraid we won’t be liked?

Because we think we have superhuman powers?

Well, we all have a bit of the Supermom Syndrome.

You know what I’m talking about.

We take on way too much and then we are always frazzled because nothing is done and nothing is done right.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

I wonder if we just don’t know that we are doing it.

Perhaps it’s a little bit of all those reasons.

What I do know is that I did it to myself again.

How much can one person possibly do?

When we take on too much, we can’t put the effort that we like to put into things.

We aren’t superhuman.

Time to retool, redefine, restructure.

Time to learn to say NO.

You’re shaking your head.

You’re saying “Yeah right.”

Guilty.

Once again.

Time to retool, redefine, restructure.

Time to learn to say NO.

Ok, this is my new mantra.

I’m going to repeat it over and over again.

I’m going to be lean and mean.

Well, you know what I’m trying to say.

I have to set boundaries and keep them.

Priorities are priorities.

The rest is secondary.

Here’s a New Year’s resolution for you.

I know you’re right there with me.

We’ll all retire our capes together.

Before it retires us.

We can’t save the world.

We can save our sanity and the peace in our homes.

OK. One more time.

Repeat after me.

It’s time to retool, redefine, restructure.

I WILL say no to all that stuff that I shouldn’t be doing, and what gets in the way of my priorities.

I don’t need to be a super hero.

With this weight off my shoulders, I can excel at what I really feel is important.

Great!

Repeat! Repeat! Repeat!

I know I can, I know I can, I know I can!

We’ll have to check in on each other from time to time and make sure we aren’t overwhelming ourselves again.

It’s such a bad habit.

And so bad for our overall health and well being.

Yes. It will kill you before your time.

Not to mention the sanity in our families.

OK!

Take that cape and RIP it to shreds.

It’ll help you get out some frustration, too.

Go on.

Throw that cape in the fire.

It’s over.

We are only human.

Surely you’ve heard the term “potty mouth.”

Well, we aren’t talking about THAT kind of potty talk.

We’re being literal.

You know, as in bathroom, toilet, toity, WC.

We’ve started trying to potty train the Bebs.

True to form, Miss LeRoux isn’t always on the program.

For months she’s been alerting us when she needs to be changed, and when one is imminent.

She also camps out in the bathroom with anyone who is using it.

She’ll sit on the little stool and hang out.

Sometimes she’ll talk to you, or just peruse her reading material.

Funny how she’s already mastered that! HA!

Earlier this year, she was spending a lot of time with the three year-old down the block.

This little girl is potty trained.

Bebs came home one day and insisted that she wear panties, just like her friend.

So for the past 6 months, she’s been wearing a diaper AND panties.

I know, it sounds pretty funny.

So with all this, we figured, it’s time to give it the old college try.

We tried to get her to sit on the potty seat and she would freak out.

We tried bribing her with M&Ms, a sure-fire trick recommended by many moms.

Nope.

One day I just picked her up and put her on there.

Her scream quickly turned into a giggle as she felt like big man – er big girl – on campus.

Well, we never got any ACTION on the potty seat.

I was starting to wonder if this wasn’t the time.

Since then, she has decided that she prefers the potty chair instead of the potty seat.

Though just the thought of having to clean out the potty chair was making me squeamish, I figured if this would get her to go and she’d be more comfortable, we should go for it.

She began to spend a lot of time there, and moved the chair from room to room.

It was a game.

She’d sit there with her clothes on, and would have no part of removing them to actually TRY.

While playing outside one day, I removed her diaper and just put on the panties.

I thought well, if she could feel the awful feeling of being soiled, this might help.

Nope.

She was walking around with a full load and never took a break from playing.

Bebs was upset when I took her inside to clean her up.

“But Mom! I want to play!” she yelled.

We tried this again another time and she had no issue walking around with soaked clothes.

Back to the drawing board.

We started again with the M&Ms.

If she’d sit, she could have one M&M, 2 if she actually pee’d. If she pooped, she could have 3.

The thought of all those M&Ms excited her, but I don’t think she was quite on board yet.

She’d sit on the potty – chair and seat – but without success.

Was I just catching her at the wrong time?

One night, she totally surprised me.

Bebs announced that she wanted to take a shower.

This was a first. She’d been leery of the shower, even when her sister took one.

After the shower, I dried her up and began to put on the diaper.

“No!” She screeched.

“I’m going potty!”

She went directly to the potty chair, sat down and did her duty. 

“See Mommy? Wanna see my pee pees?” she uttered.

Sure enough, there it was!

Boo and I cheered, hugged her and made a huge deal out of it.

I don’t think there was ever so much fanfare for peeing.

After Bebs got dressed, our designated candy distributor Boo got two M&Ms, and proudly presented them to her little sister.

I told Boo we had to make a big deal and cheer and all that so she would keep using the potty.

Then it came.

“Mommy, do I get any M&Ms for being a good helper?”

Ahh, can’t put anything passed Boo.

“Yes.”

“M&Ms are the best thing ever!” announced Boo.

The next night, the same scenario repeated.

And the following night.

Three nights in a row!

Note, this was the only time of day she would use the potty, but hey, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

As soon as I mentioned it to the grandparents, the potty talk stopped.

That next night, Bebs took a shower, and then when she came out, she requested her diaper be put on.

“No pee pee,” was the answer.

There wasn’t going to be any discussion.

Miss LeReux proceeded to remove the potty chair from the scene.

I wasn’t sure where she took it.

“No potty! Quiet!”

She sure told me.

The night after, she took her shower and there was no potty to be found.

I asked and she replied, “shhhhh!”

Forgive me.

My little diva has spoken!

We didn’t stop the potty talk.

We offered M&Ms, but there was no interest.

We offered bubbles. Nope.

The little rascal chimed back one day.

“Lipstick!”

Yes, she has a thing with lipstick.

She was negotiating for a tube of lipstick.

She’s 2!

Sharp.

But Mommy doesn’t negotiate.

Certainly not on those terms.

Then the other night, she undressed herself (a new thing too!) and got in the shower.

I asked if she was going to pee when she was done.

She said yes.

She got in the shower and began to do her duty.

Well, at least it wasn’t the OTHER duty.

She showered, then proceeded directly to the potty chair.

Oh yes, we did recover the potty chair (it was behind the loveseat in my bedroom!) and put it back in the bathroom.

Success!

“See Mommy!” she called.

“Wanna see my pee pee?”

Sure enough.

“YAY! Two M&Ms for you,” I announced.

“I love M&Ms,” she said.

So we’re back on our nightly routine.

I ask her during the day if she needs to go potty and I always get the same answer.

“After my shower!”

Now I remember when Boo was potty training.

We made some progress here and there, but we weren’t 100% and we’d been at it for months.

Then one day it happened.

We found out the little girl down the street – 6 months YOUNGER – was fully potty trained.

All she needed to hear was that her friend wore only panties and went on the potty all the time, and that was it.

So.

Do we need a new trick with Bebs?

Is she just not ready for more?

Or do we plan for her to spend as much time as possible with the 3 year-old down the street?

All this talk about using the facilities.

I feel like a potty mouth!

I just keep reminding myself that the number of diapers in my future is indeed finite.

And that universe is getting smaller and smaller, each time she takes her nightly pee.

Viva la potty!

Yesterday was D-Day –

As in DUE DAY.

Yes, yesterday was my due date for the child that I lost.

I had been thinking about this for weeks.

Both of my girls were born a little early.

The first one at 37 weeks, 2 days; the second at 36 weeks, 4 days.

Most likely the baby would have been born already.

But yesterday was the day.

I joked with myself, reminding myself that May 4 is the birthday of an old boyfriend, and I didn’t want my child to be associated with that day.

Ha!

Fat chance.

It already is.

So how does one commemorate a lost little one?

I didn’t know what the day would bring.

I planned to be busy.

I wanted to be strong, in his honor.

I did say “his.”

Back in December, when I was going through the worst side effects of the chemo, I had a dream.

A beautiful cherub with gossamer wings appeared in front of me.

Hi Mommy,” he said.

“Don’t cry. Don’t be sad. I’m here in Heaven with Jesus. I’m OK and you are going to be OK too.”

I was stunned, as this amazing creature fluttered before me.

I didn’t get to say anything.

In an instant, he was gone.

As I tried to compose myself in the dream, he re-appeared.

“By the way, I’m a boy. Don’t cry! Everything’s going to be OK.”

And he was gone. I woke up.

While driving home from chemo that day, I felt awful and was frustrated that this wasn’t ending fast enough.

I swear I saw something shimmering and white fly past me.

It was the baby angel.

I was reminded of the dream, and instantly felt better.

I’d felt in my heart that the baby was a boy and this dream confirmed it for me.

Before you call me a whacko, you should know I’ve had prophetic dreams before.

Since then, when I’ve had difficult days, I have imagined him in the arms of Jesus, smiling and waving at me.

But I digress.

I didn’t know what the day would have in store.

The night before I’d spent an hour on the phone chatting with Boo’s pregnant Godmother.

She’s due in about 4 weeks.

She’s been gracious enough to “share” her pregnancy with me.

From seeing the awesome ultrasound pictures, to hearing about kicks, doctor appointments and planning the baby’s room, I feel like I’ve been part of the whole process.

Which has meant a lot to me.

We excitedly spoke about the new arrival.

She asked some questions, and I relived the anticipation of my girls’ arrivals.

I didn’t get sad.

It was fun to talk about all that again.

And fun to talk about her impending bundle of joy.

She’s going to be an incredible mom.

I’m so happy for her and can’t wait to meet her little one.

I went to sleep just feeling good for the great conversation with my dear friend.

That morning I woke up and instantly thought of my little angel in Heaven.

I came downstairs, and lit a candle for him, and said a prayer for him by name.

Yes, his name.

I’ve officially given him a name – the name he was supposed to have.

Somehow it made me feel more connected.

It made him seem real.

Staring at the flame, I thought of my precious cherub.

To my surprise, there were no tears.

Only smiles.

My heart just felt so full.

I went about my morning routine, and then the girls woke up.

They greeted me with what seemed to be even bigger smiles, and even greater enthusiasm.

There was so much love in that room.

It was a trouble-free morning – a gift from my girls – though they have no idea.

We took Boo to school, and Bebs and I went to meet a woman from my support group.

Her due day would have been today, however she’s already expecting again.

We had a good chat.

Just like old friends.

She’s 18 weeks along, and I can’t wait to see her with a big belly.

What an exciting time!

We’re also waiting on the birth of another baby – Boo’s friend from school is going to be a big sister anytime now.

So we’re on the baby watch, and I’m finding it positively delightful.

Boo and I have been cheering on her friend, that she’s going to be a great big sister.

Also, Boo wants to have her over for a sleepover so she can teach her all about being a big sister.

That will be a hoot!

As I sat down to write, I poured a glass of wine, and toasted my angel.

He’s here –  in my heart.

This weekend we are going to begin planting our garden.

I’ve decided that I’d like to honor our little one with a tree, or some sort of perennial, that I can nurture and watch grow.

When I’m having a bad day – which I do have every once and a while– I can go out there and talk to it and just look at it.

This plant – a beautiful living, breathing creation of God – will be a live memorial.

A tribute.

This is how I will commemorate my little angel.

And…

Be the best mom that I can be to his sisters and the best wife I can be to his daddy.

Be the best person I can be.

Help others who’ve experienced this type of loss.

And most importantly…

To love.

To live.

Last time, I mentioned that my little bundles of sugar and spice have taken to screaming – more like shrieking. ;-(

At my wits end, I did some online research and came up pages and pages of articles on the subject.

It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone, but at the same time exasperating, since there doesn’t seem to be an answer to the eternal question, why do little girls scream?

I mentioned some interesting stuff I read in my research.

Then I decided to try something…

Over the last week, I’ve been playing scientist. I’ve been observing my children – and their behavior – very carefully. I thought, there must be a method to this madness. There must be some actual reasons why they scream, not just because they are girls and they are together.

Taking a step back to watch and not getting involved was eye-opening. Here’s what I observed.

Boo wants to play WITH Bebs. She wants to share things, and expects Bebs to share. She expects her to interact with her at her level. She wants group play. She likes pretend play too, and some things that Bebs is not yet developmentally able to do. She seems to forget that Bebs is 17 months old – 25 months younger. Boo gets frustrated and she screams. And when Boo screams, she is echoed by her sister.

Bebs on the other hand, prefers to play independently. She doesn’t want Boo to interfere or bother her things. If Boo gets on her little car, for example, and she wanted to get on it – even though it wasn’t expressed – she screams. Sometimes it is a chain reaction, sometimes not. Boo gets frustrated too, cause she’s not sure why her sister is screaming.

I’ve read that kids of Bebs’ age don’t play together, but rather next to each other – often called parallel play. It’s a “you have your toys and I have mine” kind of thing, and rarely do they mix.

Bebs is very verbal, but she can’t yet communicate everything she is thinking or wants.

I’ve also noticed that they each will occasionally want to rough house with each other, but it seems to be when the other one doesn’t want to. We get some screaming then, too. Yes, sometimes my daughters seem to be wrestling! I’ve heard it’s a weird bonding thing and if they are both happy and willing, I should leave them, as long as no one’s getting hurt.

I’ve been trying to coach them separately.

I am teaching Bebs to say things like, “no Boo!”, “ask Mommy”, “my car”, “no play.” I heard her say “no Boo!” once  the other day.

I sit Boo down, probably once a day and explain that Bebs can’t yet play like she does; she may want to sometimes, but right now, at her age she wants to discover things on her own, plus Bebs doesn’t understand things like pretending. I remind her we don’t grab things away from anyone, and she should just stay off Bebs’ little cars – for now. Hopefully the repetition will make it sink it, and soon we won’t need daily reminders. One can only hope.

It’s helping.

We still have some screaming – and I suspect there will always be some – but if we can get rid of the majority of it, I will be ever so grateful. And sane.

How do you deal with screaming?

We’ll all get through it. Little girls screamed 100 years ago, and I suspect that 100 years from now, little girls will scream.

One last word.

Earplugs.


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