From the Mommy Files…

Babymoons and Planning Children…LOL

Posted on: February 4, 2013

I read and hear about babymoons, people planning when they’ll get pregnant, outlining every single moment of their lives.

And I laugh.

I laugh really hard.

Have you ever heard the saying about the “Best laid plans?”

Or what about the one that says something about we make plans and God laughs?

When I was planning my wedding, a well-meaning friend lectured me extensively about how you’re supposed to wait two years before you have a child.

I was 36.

There was no waiting two years.

She got married at 30, so she had two years to wait if she so wished.

I explained this to her, insisting that if I waited two years, I’d probably only have one child.

Well, as it turned out, I got pregnant at the end of my month-long honeymoon.

We thought we’d settle in, and after a few months start “trying” to get pregnant.

Well, what do they say about the best laid plans?

So we jumped into the fray, fast and furious…

You know, marriage, children – in the immortal words of Zorba the Greek…

The full catastrophe.

Add to the mix that my husband decided we needed to start a gut rehab on our home BEFORE the baby was born.

And that house was about one hour away from the nearest family member.

Did I mention that my mom’s health took a huge downturn about the time I discovered I was pregnant?

To tell you it was a tough few years, I wouldn’t be giving you the whole truth.

There have been really difficult, painful times, with many obstacles thrown in the mix.

I have two children. I lost the third.

If I had waited two years, perhaps we would have had the storied “honeymoon period,”Mommy and Eleni Feb 2009

Spent more time solidifying our relationship and learning to be a couple.

Sure.

But we got married older.

And one of the problems with marrying older is that when you have kids, there’s not a whole lot of support from the grandparents.

At that point, they are often older, ill, or already passed on.

My mother-in-law passed away the year before we married.

My mother is not well.

My sister lives in another state.

So there was no chance of help.

Unless we paid heavily for it, and since we decided I would keep my part-time job and be a stay-at-home-mom, this is one of the things we couldn’t afford.

This makes things even more difficult for a couple, and can strain the strongest of relationships.

Would I change anything?

Well, sometimes I wish I would have married younger.

But more than likely, I would have married someone else and would probably be divorced.

And I wouldn’t have my girls.

So things happen as they are supposed to.

We all have an “ideal,” a way, a sequence that we think everything should happen.

Life has a way of laughing in our face.

Things happen in spite of our best efforts otherwise.

The second time I got PG, it took 8 months to make that happen.

The third time, we really didn’t even try – and that pregnancy turned out to be a molar pregnancy.

Life comes at you fast.

Don’t make too many plans.

Things happen.

Just live.

Be grateful for your blessings.

CHOOSE to be happy.

Enjoy life.

You can plan and “try” all you want, but inevitably, things will happen when they are supposed to.

Make some plans, but don’t get your heart set on them.

Remember – things will happen as they will.

The challenges, the stumbling blocks will make you even stronger.

Life is too short.

Don’t waste too much time planning.

Just enjoy your life.

Then you will be the one laughing.

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1 Response to "Babymoons and Planning Children…LOL"

Wonderful post! I agre…. When we try to make tight, solid plans, they turn around and say, “Yeah, right.” The best we can do is set subtle plans, such as, “I want to go back to school,” or, “I want to buy a house.” Then, get to work toward those goals. But don’t assume those things will happen exactly as we plan for them too. They’ll happen, but in there own way. It’s up to us to keep up with the obstacles that pop up along the way, and continue on our journey.

Enjoy your girls!

– Andrea

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