From the Mommy Files…

Why Do Little Girls Scream? – Part 2

Posted on: August 23, 2010

Last time, I mentioned that my little bundles of sugar and spice have taken to screaming – more like shrieking. ;-(

At my wits end, I did some online research and came up pages and pages of articles on the subject.

It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone, but at the same time exasperating, since there doesn’t seem to be an answer to the eternal question, why do little girls scream?

I mentioned some interesting stuff I read in my research.

Then I decided to try something…

Over the last week, I’ve been playing scientist. I’ve been observing my children – and their behavior – very carefully. I thought, there must be a method to this madness. There must be some actual reasons why they scream, not just because they are girls and they are together.

Taking a step back to watch and not getting involved was eye-opening. Here’s what I observed.

Boo wants to play WITH Bebs. She wants to share things, and expects Bebs to share. She expects her to interact with her at her level. She wants group play. She likes pretend play too, and some things that Bebs is not yet developmentally able to do. She seems to forget that Bebs is 17 months old – 25 months younger. Boo gets frustrated and she screams. And when Boo screams, she is echoed by her sister.

Bebs on the other hand, prefers to play independently. She doesn’t want Boo to interfere or bother her things. If Boo gets on her little car, for example, and she wanted to get on it – even though it wasn’t expressed – she screams. Sometimes it is a chain reaction, sometimes not. Boo gets frustrated too, cause she’s not sure why her sister is screaming.

I’ve read that kids of Bebs’ age don’t play together, but rather next to each other – often called parallel play. It’s a “you have your toys and I have mine” kind of thing, and rarely do they mix.

Bebs is very verbal, but she can’t yet communicate everything she is thinking or wants.

I’ve also noticed that they each will occasionally want to rough house with each other, but it seems to be when the other one doesn’t want to. We get some screaming then, too. Yes, sometimes my daughters seem to be wrestling! I’ve heard it’s a weird bonding thing and if they are both happy and willing, I should leave them, as long as no one’s getting hurt.

I’ve been trying to coach them separately.

I am teaching Bebs to say things like, “no Boo!”, “ask Mommy”, “my car”, “no play.” I heard her say “no Boo!” once  the other day.

I sit Boo down, probably once a day and explain that Bebs can’t yet play like she does; she may want to sometimes, but right now, at her age she wants to discover things on her own, plus Bebs doesn’t understand things like pretending. I remind her we don’t grab things away from anyone, and she should just stay off Bebs’ little cars – for now. Hopefully the repetition will make it sink it, and soon we won’t need daily reminders. One can only hope.

It’s helping.

We still have some screaming – and I suspect there will always be some – but if we can get rid of the majority of it, I will be ever so grateful. And sane.

How do you deal with screaming?

We’ll all get through it. Little girls screamed 100 years ago, and I suspect that 100 years from now, little girls will scream.

One last word.

Earplugs.

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5 Responses to "Why Do Little Girls Scream? – Part 2"

Good observations. I remember trying to play the scientist with my daughter, but when things got tough, I ended up sounding just like my mom…..

Hi. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your comments. Isn’t it funny how we end up sounding like our moms, especially when we say we never would? 😉

I am convinced it’s in our DNA. I swore I’d never say ‘because I said so’ but I used that regularly. Sounds almost Gestapo-like, doesn’t it?

LOL. I think it happens without us realizing – it’s ingrained in there, cause we heard it so much when we were little. It just comes out of nowhere!

Did you happen to see this post from a few months ago?
https://fromthemommyfiles.wordpress.com/2010/03/03/omg-did-i-say-that/

it is a way to get attention from there peers. They do not do this with adults only in the room again unless it is to obtain something. I think that boys have a different method and that is through their strength dominance.

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