From the Mommy Files…

Archive for February 2010

Woo hoo! Who knew a tooth could be so exciting! My younger daughter, who is a week shy of her first birthday, doesn’t have any teeth. I’m amazed that she can eat. She refuses to eat baby food and insists on feeding herself. She likes big chunks of food that she can easily pick up and eat. I don’t know how, but she must have the strongest gums in the world. “Where are your teeth?” I ask her all time, and she giggles. And we giggle as she gums her food like a little old lady who isn’t wearing her dentures.

After experiencing teething for 6 months, my 3 year-old got her first tooth a week before she was 9 months-old. Not even a day later, the second one started popping out. Within in a week, she had two more on top. The rest came out pretty steadily after that. I know you aren’t supposed to compare, but it really started to make me wonder. When will these teeth come in? And as parents, we can’t help but worry. One of my neighbors told me a story about a little kid who didn’t get any teeth, and his parents took him to the dentist when he was 2. They found out there were no baby teeth in his mouth. Yikes! That’s scary. I was being silly – with my visions of this kid in kindergarten with no teeth. I’d remind myself that it would happen, eventually.

For months we’ve experienced bouts of teething – the drooling, the runny nose, the sleepless nights, the misery of it. I’d get excited. “Is there a tooth in there?” I’d try to look in her mouth or touch her gums, and she would go crazy. I’d hope and hope, and nope. She’d suffer with no pay off. Poor kid.

Yesterday, we had one of those days. Nothing was going right for her. She didn’t want to sit, didn’t want to play, nothing. She just wanted Mommy. And we couldn’t even sit down. She wanted me to walk around with her. She was so crabby. She slept a lot too. I thought, this little one just doesn’t feel well. I tried to not get my hopes up, cause I’d always get excited that a tooth was coming, and then, nope, nothing. Nada.

This morning, she went briefly to Daddy, and for some reason, he stuck his finger in her mouth. “A tooth!” he said. I almost flew out of the bed. “Hurray! A tooth!”  I felt it too – that sharp little top part of the tooth was sticking up from the gums. Woo hoo!

I was thinking last night, wouldn’t it be so cool if she had a pearly white to show off at her birthday party this weekend? YES!!!

 So we’re still crabby and out of sorts, but hey, getting a tooth hurts! I remember when my wisdom teeth were coming in, and I’d say to people, gosh, now I know how babies feel! Poor little ones! It will pass in a few days, and she’ll have her first tooth, finally! And then, more than likely, the rest will start to pop out quickly. If they don’t, well, just think how adorable that one little tooth will look when she smiles…even cuter than the toothless grin we’ve been admiring for months now.

 Who knew a tooth could be so exciting. If you hear someone cheering, it’s probably this crazy mom, welcoming her daughter’s first tooth.

NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION! hehehe

 So my milk has come in and my boobs have grown like there’s no tomorrow. I look in the mirror and think, “yeah, looking good, uh-huh!” Too bad these puppies can’t be appreciated – well, they can, but only from afar.

Any new mom, especially one who’s breastfeeding, knows what I’m talking about. Finally, I have the breasts I’ve always wanted, but don’t get too close! Don’t hug me too tight. I tell my older daughter she can’t lean on me. It hurts too much. In the first few days, even the water from the showerhead evoked some pain. Yowsa! 

So one would think this would be the time to show off some cleavage, however, low-cut shirts aren’t a good idea. It would be nice to show these babies off, but due to the work involved in milk production, my chest looks like a road map – it’s full of bright blue veins that run across my chest.

“I know it’s killing you, Honey,” I tell my hubby, who like any male, I’m sure is eager to meet these new “friends.” He’s probably thinking, “Oh yeah!” Well, gotta wait six weeks! And then, um, certain activities, can make them leak. Now that’s sexy! NOT!  So I wonder, can that scar a man for life? Ha ha

Well, it reminds me of a song from the rock ‘n roll days… ah, my misspent youth. The 80s rock band Poison had a song called, “Look But Don’t Touch.” I think perhaps I should rewrite the lyrics on behalf of nursing mommies everywhere. Hmmm…let me think… “You can look, but you can’t touch, cause formula’s not cheap, no. You can look, but you can’t touch, cause baby these aren’t for keeps!”

Speaking of leaking, I got in the bathtub, and two milky waterfalls surfaced. I started to freak out. What was going on? Yikers! Also, bra pads are now part of my wardrobe and lately I change them often. If this were a wet t-shirt contest, I’d be the hands-down winner. No spraying me down required. We must be careful when going out in public! Doesn’t matter time or place – the waterfall starts to run, and it seems, at the most inopportune times. Maybe I should buy stock in bra pads? Hmmm…How do we turn off the faucet? The other day, baby was nursing and then took a break. I felt something liquid running down my belly. I thought she’d spit up. Nope, the milk seemed to be pouring out. How do you stop this crazy thing?

Related to the leaking is its first cousin, squirting. Yes, these things squirt without provocation. Imagine the baby is nursing, and everything is great and all of a sudden she freaks out. That thing is spraying; literally, it’s squirting out milk, fast and furious. What the heck?

Modesty seems to have taken a vacation. I guess after everyone and their brother has watched you give birth; flashing a boob doesn’t seem like much. I find myself whipping it out with curtains open and in front of family and friends. What have I become?  Oh well. Free shows for everyone!

Lest I forget, let’s discuss the lovely little machine called a breast pump. Oh yeah, that lovely device, the modern-day wonder that it is, if you don’t use properly, is like Chinese torture, especially when the ‘girls’ are sore. Oh the sex appeal is oozing now (no pun intended!) as I am hooked up to this seemingly masochistic machine that’s pulling the milk out, so someone else can feed this child and I can get a break. Can you just see it? Right, like I’m sitting there holding the cups on my enormous boobs, and thinking, “I’m too sexy for this pump, to sexy for this pump, so sexy it hurts!” (And if you put the suction setting up too high, it does hurt! OUCH!) Ha ha ha. Hey, I have to make light of this to keep my spirits up, and keep my mind off everything I am missing out on while I’m on this crazy carnival ride. Wink, wink.

I heard that breastfeeding would be painful, but I didn’t know until I actually did it. It got better, and I breast fed my eldest until she was 14 months old. The nipple pain subsided quite early with number two. There’s a bright side, ladies. This will help me get my pre-preggo body back faster.

I make light of all this, but I wouldn’t change it. In a few months, my porn star boobs will look deflated, but what can you do? It’s a small sacrifice to give my kids the healthiest start possible. As I watch the pregnancy weight melt away, though I sometimes get frustrated as the weight takes its sweet time leaving me, (I think, ‘I don’t like you, why do you like me so much?’) – but it did take nine months to get this way – I remind myself, that this body was the vessel to bring two beautiful little miracles into the world. Yeah, I’m a hot mama, with my temporary porn star, leaky, veiny boobs and all. And don’t you forget it!

 

   

  

What the #$%^?! You’re changing a diaper, and lo and behold, that little bugger just peed on you. Yuck! Well my friends, you have been christened! Moms, (and dads too) you know what I’m talking about. And this little baptism isn’t limited to boys either. Yes, that sweet little girl might very well pee on you too.  

Years ago when my nephew was a baby, I was so diligent; whenever I changed his diaper, to cover him right away with another diaper so he wouldn’t pee on me. Ha! The little stinker got me once when I was putting him in the bathtub! When he was about to be baptized (for real), my sister held him in blanket to keep him warm, since he was naked (we do full immersion baptism in my religion) and he peed on her. Good thing she wore a dark dress with a print. Had she not told me, I never would have known!  

When I had my first daughter, I thought, great a girl. I don’t have to worry about getting peed on. Guess again! I think she was just a few days old and I had her on the changing table, and she was directly facing me. As soon as I took the diaper off, the cold air made her pee, and it came straight out and got me wet. What the heck! She had peed on me. She got me a couple of times after that, too. I won’t take it personally. Don’t worry, I won’t be telling everyone that story on her wedding day. 😉  

Now second daughter came along, and I hadn’t forgotten about the prior incidents. So I was very quick with the diapers. I thought, this little one isn’t going to get me. but she did. Another time, as I took her out of the tub, I took her in my arms and she peed a lot. Well, at least it wasn’t poop! Did she think I needed a shower?  

Don’t think you’re out of the woods when the diapers are gone. Those little stinkers will pee on you when they are potty training too. I remember my younger brother thought he was being funny, and he peed on anyone who was standing nearby, even if we were there to help him wipe, get his pants up and wash his hands. Devil! My older daughter got me one day when she thought she was done. She was just learning to go on the potty and she had told me she was finished. I went to wipe her, and well….Another time she was too preoccupied to go to the potty and waited until the last moment. She came running and I brought her into the bathroom. As I helped her off with her pants, um, well, she didn’t make it on the potty… Rats!  

In the future, be sure to be quick on the diaper change. That will help with that one. But not quite sure how we stop the getting-in-and-out-of-the-bath attacks. Hmmm….Could we invent something to put on the baby so they can’t get us? Do you think they are getting back at us for something? In the case of my little one, I think she was upset that I took her out of the tub. Already she’s seeking revenge! Every time now, I think, will she pee on me? Here’s an idea…maybe I’ll have Daddy be in charge of her baths. Nope. That won’t work. If she pees on him, he may never give her a bath again! As for the potty training jokesters, leave the room and wait until they finish, before you return. Either that or just be ready for a quick jump out of the way. Always be on your guard! You never know when the monster will strike! 😉 Good luck, and hope you stay dry!  


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